Guitarist Humor

What are the two most frequent guitarist lies?
1. I am not too loud
2. I already turned it down

Q: What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A: Who cares - neither one's a guitar.

Q: How do you get a guitar player to turn down?
A: Put sheet music in front of him.

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 6 - 1 to put the bulb in, and 5 to say, "I could have done that".

"Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a guitarist when I grow up!"
"Now Johnny, you know you can't do both."

Q: How many guitar players do you need to replace a flourescent light?
A: Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.

Q: What's the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Q: What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.